Don't Bite My Head Off
by RockDiva
Summary: SPOILERS FOR KUNG FU PANDA 2! Viper isn't like Tigress. She's not afraid of her emotions, no matter the risk involved.


**_Don't Bite My Head Off_**

Fireworks lit the night sky and lively music filled the air as Gongmen City celebrated the victory of the Dragon Warrior and the Furious Five over Lord Shen. A feast had been given and was now followed by a celebration that would be sure to last well into the next morning or longer if the overjoyed villagers had their way.

Viper slithered up next to Mantis who was sitting alone on a balcony, watching the fireworks and having just finished a piece of cake. "I bet you're happy," she said in a somewhat teasing tone.

"That we're alive and can relax now?" Mantis continued looking at the fireworks. "You bet I am. Aren't you?"

"Well, yes, but that's not what I meant," she gave a small laugh that included a hissing sound. "I meant, now you can go out the way you always imagined. Settling down and having a wife. You know, her biting your head off," she attempted to stifle another laugh as so not to hurt the bug's feelings. After all, he seemed pretty serious about his future ambitions.

"Oh, that. Yeah, I guess so," Mantis didn't mind chuckling over the comment. "But, you know, I don't actually plan on that until much later. I'm not ready to give up kung fu just yet," he stated determinedly as he turned to look at her.

"Well, that's good. We'd miss you too much," Viper said with a genuine smile.

For a moment there was an awkward silence between them. Wanting to break it, Mantis asked an even more awkward question. "So what about you? Uh, I mean, you know, how do you imagine you'll go out?"

Viper's eyes widened a little as she pulled her thoughts away from wherever she'd let them roam during the awkward silence. Actually, she wasn't sure she'd actually been thinking anything in that moment as it had almost felt like a transient state. "Oh, well, I suppose if I don't die in battle then I imagine it to be old age like anyone else."

"Oh, that's nice," Mantis answered, shifting his eyes back towards the fireworks since he wasn't sure what else to say. "Here's hoping for the second one since we'd miss you too much also," he finally added without looking at her.

"Thanks," Viper said, smiling softly. She also turned her gaze away, but not towards the sky. She looked out at some of the many villagers. They were safe thanks to Po. As she continued to scan the crowd happily, her eyes then found Po. The panda was entertaining several bunny children in what she could tell was a delightfully amusing manner. Viper quickly noticed that Tigress was nearby, laughing every now and then or saying something that the snake obviously couldn't hear.

This scene brought an even bigger smile to Viper's face. She couldn't deny that she had begun to entertain thoughts of her two friends being closer than they even realized. She could easily tell that Po made Tigress happier than she'd ever known her to be. Even when he frustrated her, Viper could tell something was infinitely different about Tigress since she and Po had begun to grow closer.

_If only she would realize it_, Viper thought to herself, shaking her head a little as she did. Tigress was still the guarded kung fu master in spite of the astonishing amount of friendliness she'd begun to show towards Po. Yet, Viper couldn't help but find it slightly foolish given everything they'd gone through over the previous days. Tigress had already lost Po once and Po could have easily lost her in the midst of their fight with Lord Shen. How many more close calls would it take?

Suddenly, Viper turned her gaze back to Mantis. She knew it was crazy, but she wasn't like Tigress. She believed life was in the risks, no matter the outcome. "Do you really _want _to have your head bitten off someday?" Her question took him off guard and he looked at her immediately, their eyes locking as he did.

"Uh…I…" he muttered incomprehensibly at first. Mantis wasn't sure how to answer. "Well, I guess no guy wants to be killed by his wife," he started awkwardly, shrugging as he did. "But what can you do? That's just how it is."

"You don't have to settle down with someone who will bite your head off," Viper suggested calmly, as though it were an obvious alternative.

Mantis laughed nervously. "Well, yeah, I guess there's that option. But you know how that is. The whole cross-species hardly works out in the end. Too much prejudice. And then you have to adopt. And it just seems like a real hassle," Mantis continued to ramble on with reasons why it didn't make sense. "It just doesn't work."

Viper looked away quickly, understanding how much easier Tigress' method of defense could be. However, her eyes widened in shock as they landed on said tiger. Somehow, Tigress had been coaxed into dancing a lively dance with Po as the bunnies danced in a circle around them. Even if by chance she was wrong and the tiger and panda's dance was entirely platonic, it gave Viper the resolve she needed.

"Do you really believe all that?" She snapped her head back towards Mantis and held his startled gaze.

A long minute passed as Mantis struggled hard to put all of the pieces together. "You know what," he finally said with a genuine smile and shrug of his front legs, "actually I don't."

"Good," Viper softened her gaze and smiled coyly. "Because neither do I."

* * *

><p><strong>AN - Another short idea that came to me since I've always thought Viper/Mantis would be cute in an odd sort of way. And of course I couldn't resist adding Po/Tigress...no matter how unbelievably. This is meant to be awkward and humorous, btw. And just plain cheesy, because I love the cheese :) And it's intentionally left hanging and not clearly defined in the end.**


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